But my mind always goes in circles that it misses the whole point.
Oh, so that’s anxiety…
Let go.
But my mind always goes in circles that it misses the whole point.
Oh, so that’s anxiety…
Let go.
Stupid.
Ouch. Embarrassingly one of the most used words against me. Sometimes from strangers, other times from people close to my heart. Sometimes for fun, other times to hurt. But who am I to say otherwise? I am in no way agreeing. I understand — I never gave them a chance.
I never gave them a chance because I felt unworthy of who I was.
I never gave them a chance because I didn’t have a voice.
I never gave them a chance because I, myself, started believing it was true.
It’s all labels. Labels we draw on others with washable markers never needing to think twice about it because it washes off the first try. Labels we never realized that just on the other side, the receiver tattooed those words in bright obnoxious colours deep within their skin to be reminded day after day the permanency and painful traces it leaves behind. Labels that scar. Labels that hurt. Labels that embed fear. Labels that stay.
I get it. Being boxed in in someone’s eyes is somewhat easier, almost comforting, but in all honesty – – it’s lazy. Because you’re passing all responsibility away from yourself. Because the fear of stepping outside that box requires you to redefine yourself, by yourself. And how do you redefine yourself after years and years of being closed in? Where can you, do you, even begin?
You begin with you. The you that is worthy of every waking moment given to you by this earth. The you that speaks in bold, underline and italics through body, mind and heart. The you that deserves truth. The you that believes in you! It is now our chance to breakthrough our cemented self-doubts and into the infinite unknown.
So maybe it isn’t that we fear the labels and judgements, but rather we fear the alternative — freedom.
It is now our chance to give them that chance.
You are stupid. You are free.
With you always,
Today is the day you finally accept the good that has been waiting for you. Yes, You! Those loud roars of Don’ts and Can’ts you hear in your head, release them. They serve no purpose today.
The same as exercising our body for physical strength, it’s time we exercise our self-love starting with observing our self-talk for mental and spiritual strength.
What we say after “I am” is who we are. What we repeatedly say to ourselves, whether good or not so good, becomes validated because we shift every being of ourselves to prove that thought right. We begin to believe it’s true. Our words become our reality and our reality becomes our world.
Our world can go either way:
I am a fool. I am naive. I am weak. I am broken. I am wrong. I am overreacting. I am empty.
Everything shrinks, feel a bit colder and slowly crumbles down.
Or…
I am not a fool.
I am brave.
I am not naive.
I have a big heart.
I am not weak.
I am strong.
I am not broken.
I am healing.
I am not wrong.
I am learning.
I am not overreacting.
I am deserving.
I am not empty.
I am enough.
Everything grows, feels warmer and builds on acceptance.
Focus on your words alone and not of others. Your words become your world. That’s why it’s important, almost crucial, you choose words that heal and only speak the truth — your truth!
Happy Monday!
I had this strong sudden urge to go for a walk. I was feeling a little cloudy in the mind and a little heavy
in the soul. I’ve learned the best thing to do when I’m lost in the memories and lessons of the past is just
walk it off.
The park was a familiar place for me. A little bit too familiar. Inside of me needed something new to see
and feel. So I walked pass the swings, the slides and the benches of my safe zone towards the
unfamiliar. I felt my soul was finally in control and my body was just its’ shadow.
I lost myself in Avenues, Crescents, Drives and Boulevards. I knew deep down inside of me that
eventually I will find my way back but I’m the type of person that needed to leave a trail of bread crumbs
to follow back home and because of this, the fear of not knowing “When” or “How” got the best of me.
Instantly I knew I was meant to be and needed to be exactly where I was — Lost.
I continued on asking for signs, signs not to direct me back but signs as to why I was where I
was. Suddenly I realized why: I felt small. I felt empty. I felt lost. I knew something in me wanted more.
Something in me was seeking significance and purpose. Something in me knew it wasn’t
anything tangible and found here on earth.Something in me knew I had no choice but to lay everything I
thought I knew and everything I thought I was onto trust and faith alone.
So I began shifting my mind in the here and now, the present moment. This shift allowed me to see and
appreciate the beauty that is around me. The beauty in hearing every leaf sing and dance with the wind
and sweep its’ crispy edges against the pavement. How un-apologetically the flower’s contrasted
brightly against the the dark green vines and broken down wooden fences. And how the clouds silently
smiled down giving everyone and everything both warmth and coolness under its shade. This shift
brought beauty back to me.
I was feeling the flower child tinglies but still had no clue where I was. Just as I was about to give into
fear and turn around to follow my trail of bread crumbs back to safety, I remembered to breathe, keep
walking, trust that I am where I am suppose to be and have a little bit of faith. That’s when I turned the
corner and was brought right back to the familiar.
I felt accomplished and liberated so I decided to remove my flip-flops and walk bare foot. Feeling twigs
scratching the un-callused parts of my feet. The cool stringy feeling of grass. The grainy feel of the dirt
beneath me. Sigh…
BARK!
I thought I had received all the signs I needed already but apparently I had everything but a loud
aggressive bark of a German-Sheppard. The dog’s bark was a surprise. A good surprise actually. It was a
genuine acknowledgement of my presence. To me the barking was life shouting out — I see you. You are
acknowledged. You are alive!
This is how my spirit speaks to me. I use to think that being sensitive was a burden and a little too much
to handle. But I grew in believing that being a sensitive soul is a gift. It’s a gift that allows you to see past
the surface level and tap into a deeper meaning. This deeper meaning that awakens the soul and makes
you feel alive. My vulnerability to my surrounding opened me up to appreciating the tiniest things and
through appreciation, I saw what my God saw. Most importantly I saw what He saw in me.
Sometimes there’s too much focus on the noise it takes away from rooting the problem for us to refresh
and plant a solution.
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There is too much want and not enough need.
There is too much “should be” and not enough ‘I am”.
There is too much of too much and not enough of being enough.
I believe you don’t need to be religious to experience a spiritual high. All it is is being vulnerable and
open to receive what life has been waiting to give to you. Can you believe that? Life is waiting for YOU.
Not the other way around with you waiting for life to happen. Life is waiting by your side as you stroll
down the street, not at the end of the street. Life is waiting with you while you sit down sipping coffee as
you scroll through your social media accounts, not at the next vacation destination. Life is waiting by
your side now, not later.
Be vulnerable and be open because you never know what you’ll find when you lose yourself.
Happy Thursday!