I need clarity. 
I find it crazy that just by starring at crystals you choose the one that stands out to you and you’re matched with the one you need in your life in that moment. I like to think that this was a sign, a sign that I’m going through the right motions and not just going through the motions. But even if it was the latter, I’m glad I’m going through this.
Now from what I’ve read and watched, herkimer is the most powerful of quartz. It’s attuning. It’s healing. It’s magnifying. It’s clarifying.  
I was drawn to it over an amethyst necklace. The herkimer was dainty and small  but still stood out from the rest. It had black deposits casting a darker shade but to me looked the brightest. Something about it drew me to it so I bought it.
It’s important to have affirmations with it, right? My affirmations for the quartz is:
Clarify my path, 
Guide me to my souls passion,
Bring creativity into my every doing.
Clarify. Clarify. Clarify.
Bring out what I need to do.
What do I mean by clarify?
Just to be clear, I’m clarifying what clarifying means to me?
Why go there?
My mind thinks in a way where I need a clear meaning of what “what is”.
But the paradox is it doesn’t have a clear meaning.
It is.
So where does this go?
It goes beyond.
Beyond me.
Beyond you.
Beyond us.
What do we do with it?
It already did what it did.
So what’s the point of this conversation?
The point of this conversation is to listen.
Listen to what?
My thoughts.
But it doesn’t go anywhere.
Without even knowing it I hold on to ideas, almost obsessively, when the whole point of all this is:  
things will show up, things will be as they should be.

But my mind always goes in circles that it misses the whole point.


I lift my pen off my journal.

Oh, so that’s anxiety…

Dear Rachel,
You’re missing the whole point.

Let go.

With you always,

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