quiet down

 

During my absence from social media (Instagram and Facebook), I was able to listen and find my self. Maybe not my whole self but I feel a better closeness and sense of security. It’s been an emotional and enlightening experience to say the least. But here I am proud of every bit of progress I’ve made and just want to share.

To be honest, being away from social media was surprisingly easy. Maybe of my strong will or maybe because the Internet was cut off of my house and I’ve gone over my data. I like to think it’s the first one. But it took a huge weight off my shoulder. In the beginning it was like a part of me was taken away but I kept reminding myself to tone down the mellow dramaticness and focus on what’s in front of you. My time away from the world wide web has given me absolute peace with myself. I found myself doing things I wouldn’t normally do if I had Internet or other distractions. I found myself building Lego castles, dancing with a ukulele with my daughter right behind me dancing, making infused water to encourage myself to drink more water, cleaning places I tried to avoid, de cluttering my place, reading books after books and writing daily in my journal. Through all of it I began to feel more myself. I didn’t mind my time alone but I do admit at times I find myself going crazy because it gets too quiet. But that’s when I start to look inside myself. That’s when I start to pray. I know I was in the exact moment I was meant to be in because I needed to slow down and smell the roses. I think in your early twenties you go full speed ahead because you ultimately have nothing to lose. But when you find yourself lost, you start to slow down. To take notice of what needs to be done and find the true meaning of life. I didn’t plan to be a single mother but I wouldn’t see myself elsewhere. At first it was the darkest pit I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to be stuck in but I’m starting to see myself stand up and see my friends and family reaching down and giving me their hand to help lift me up. But I know in the end, no amount of hands can remove me out of this pit except my own. My friends and family can shine their candles towards my way but I am my own light.

By removing external distractions, you are closer to lifting yourself out of your own darkness. Look around you and embrace the candles that shines your way. Small steps will lead you out of the darkness and let you find rest and most importantly peace.

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